BUCKETS — Just in time for Masters week, Buckets unveiled a new menu catering to golfers in what patrons are praising as "pure genius" and "the work of a bright spark."

DUNKIN COUNTRY CLUB — Golfer Marsha Bobobins was seen cruising down Interstate 173 in a golf cart earlier this afternoon after she zoned out and missed her turn for Hole 2 at Dunkin Country Club. Marsha brazenly held up traffic in the fast lane, saying, “Where the hell am I?” as she puttered a meager 5 mph down the freeway, as cars zipped around her in every direction. “Go around! Go around!” yelled Marsha as anxious drivers blasted their horns behind her while she attempted

Thursday night, Al Lahoot caught a baseball in his beer at a baseball game and immediately began acting like he was hall of fame player Babe Ruth.

Local football fan, Ted Cappadew, was seen down at Crumb Field during a football game where he was seen creating a “cringey spectacle” while attempting to heckle the opposing team Friday night.

CRUMB FIELD —  Local Dad, Jasper Curtains, is going to have to suit up and play for his first-grade son Timmy, unless his son starts taking the Lil' Sprouts town soccer game seriously. “Get the ball!” yelled Jasper to 6-year-old Timmy as the little sprout followed other players around the field. “We need a win! It’s second quarter, two minutes left!” continued Jasper as Timmy began chasing a butterfly around in circles. “Timmy has left me no choice, I’m going to have to throw

COSMICS BOWLING ALLEY   — Late Friday evening, Gordon Flip, showed up to the bowling alley like a professional athlete, immediately saying he did not need the gutter guards that were placed up at a friendly birthday gathering he was attending. “Who needs these things?” said Gordon as he knocked the gutter guards down while putting on a pair of leather gloves for the amateur game of bowling. “We were trying to take it easy and opted to have the guards up. We’re just here to h

CRABQUARIUM — Splash, a pet hermit crab, was seen practicing his free throw early Wednesday morning waking up his owner with the sounds...

FOXHOLE GOLF CLUB — A golfer, that previously accused the country club staff of greasing the greens earlier today, is currently still out...

FOXHOLE GOLF CLUB — Sunday morning, a golfer at Foxhole Golf Club accused staff at the country club of "greasing up the grass" on the...

DUNKIN FIELDS — A cotton candy hawker, Barb, was awarded MVP of the game over the weekend at Dunkin Fields after accidentally catching...

Merry Christmas from the hometown satirical paper SMASHED ! While we have you here, our gift is on the way (no promises), but for now...