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The Satirical Misadventures Of Smalltown, USA
"Like A Classic Sitcom, On The Web"
BREAKING
“Hey What’s This About!” Shopper Outraged When Sweater Bought Last Month Now Labeled as “Ugly Holiday Sweater”
HARODS — Local shopper and businessman, Parker Bee, was up in arms yesterday after the department store Harods, mercilessly unrolled a holiday special marketing the "sophisticated" sweater he purchased from the store last month as “the perfect sweater for your holiday ugly sweater party!”.
FLIGHT DELAY: Pilot Could've Sworn Keys In Jacket Pocket
LANDSDOWN AIRPORT — Met with immediate grumbles and groans from passengers, a flight to Denver, Colorado was delayed this morning after pilot Jack “Eagle” Lewis misplaced the keys to his Airbus A350 before departure. “I could’ve sworn they were in my jacket pocket,” said Capt. Lewis before instructing passengers to look around their seats, especially between cushions, under arm rests, and in the magazine pockets to see if the plane’s keys could be there. The pilot went on to
Detectives Credit Solving Crime With Oversized Magnifying Glass Just Like Sherlock Holmes
BAD PART OF TOWN — In the bad part of town, between 4th and 4.5th street, detectives credit cracking the case and catching criminal Ben Peters in broad daylight with a giant magnifying glass.
buckets dive bar live
Happening Now: Band Playing To Empty Dive Bar Completely Fine With It
BUCKETS — Local band, Gymnasium Stars, seems completely fine with playing to an empty bar and in fact, have remained upbeat despite the complete lack of a single person in the bar.
Bar Menu's Special Of Hamburger with Extra Large Pizzas As Buns Complete Disaster
BUCKETS DIVE BAR — A scene unfolded Wednesday night as diner, Franklin Winslow, was up in arms after dealing with the fallout of...
Extra Beer Ticket Found Abandoned On Floor Of Bar In Good Hands Now
(*ahhh* angelic music playing)
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FLIGHT DELAY: Pilot Could've Sworn Keys In Jacket Pocket
LANDSDOWN AIRPORT — Met with immediate grumbles and groans from passengers, a flight to Denver, Colorado was delayed this morning after pilot Jack “Eagle” Lewis misplaced the keys to his Airbus A350 before departure. “I could’ve sworn they were in my jacket pocket,” said Capt. Lewis before instructing passengers to look around their seats, especially between cushions, under arm rests, and in the magazine pockets to see if the plane’s keys could be there. The pilot went on to
Pilot Flying Around With Iced Coffee On Roof Wondering Why Everyone Waving At Him
LANDSDOWN AIRPORT — Pilot, Russell Hutchins, was seen flying around the sky with a large artisanal iced coffee on the roof of his plane,...
Storm Chasers Seen Following Single Cumulus Cloud Puff Around Town
AROUND TOWN — Local storm chasing team, The Cloud Hoppers, trailed a single cumulus cloud puff across town in a low-speed chase that...
the dock channel
Manager Of Daiquiri Bar Actually Just Cockatoo In Hawaiian Shirt
DAIQUIRI LAND — A tourist at Daiquiri Land, a tropical drink bar, was miffed to find out the owner of the place was actually just a...
“Place Is A Tourist Trap!” Warns Mysterious Man In Corner Of Cafe
TOURIST INFO CAFE — A man sitting in a dimly lit corner of the tourist information cafe, tried his doggone best to warn Jay and Daisy...
Panama Hat Instantly Materializes On Tourist's Head At Florida Airport
FLORIDA — In what appeared to be a Floridian phenomenon, a signature vacation-style Panama hat materialized on tourist Sheila Pipton's...
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Detectives Credit Solving Crime With Oversized Magnifying Glass Just Like Sherlock Holmes
BAD PART OF TOWN — In the bad part of town, between 4th and 4.5th street, detectives credit cracking the case and catching criminal Ben Peters in broad daylight with a giant magnifying glass.
Golfer Driving Cart Zones Out, Ends Up On Freeway
DUNKIN COUNTRY CLUB — Golfer Marsha Bobobins was seen cruising down Interstate 173 in a golf cart earlier this afternoon after she zoned...
“Woah, Woah, Woahh!!” Man Slips And Slides Around On Slick Floor For Entire Length Of Floor Mop Like He Wearing Tap Shoes
KITCHEN - Gerry McDue slipped and slid around for the entire duration of his floor mop early Saturday morning like a tap dancing penguin.
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