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The Satirical Misadventures Of Smalltown, USA
"Like A Classic Sitcom, On The Web"
Dive Bar That Keeps Christmas Lights Up All Year Goes Extra Mile To Distinguish Holiday Season By Adding Single Garland Over Doorway
BUCKETS — Local dive bar, Buckets, officially ushered in the holiday season when manager and long-time bar keep, Fendi Lawson, stepped up and added a single strand of tree garland like a scruffy mustache over the entrance doorway to the bar.
“Hey What’s This About!” Shopper Outraged When Sweater Bought Last Month Now Labeled as “Ugly Holiday Sweater”
HARODS — Local shopper and businessman, Parker Bee, was up in arms yesterday after the department store Harods, mercilessly unrolled a holiday special marketing the "sophisticated" sweater he purchased from the store last month as “the perfect sweater for your holiday ugly sweater party!”.
FLIGHT DELAY: Pilot Could've Sworn Keys In Jacket Pocket
LANDSDOWN AIRPORT — Met with immediate grumbles and groans from passengers, a flight to Denver, Colorado was delayed this morning after pilot Jack “Eagle” Lewis misplaced the keys to his Airbus A350 before departure. “I could’ve sworn they were in my jacket pocket,” said Capt. Lewis before instructing passengers to look around their seats, especially between cushions, under arm rests, and in the magazine pockets to see if the plane’s keys could be there. The pilot went on to
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