“Hey What’s This About!” Shopper Outraged When Sweater Bought Last Month Now Labeled as “Ugly Holiday Sweater”

HARODS — Local shopper and businessman, Parker Bee, was up in arms yesterday after the department store Harods mercilessly unrolled a holiday special marketing the "sophisticated" sweater he purchased from the store last month as “the perfect sweater for your holiday ugly sweater party!”

“What the hell is this?” exclaimed Parker as he walked into Harods after seeing his sweater being paraded around as “the ugliest piece of clothing we have for the holidays.” 

“Just last month this sweater was the mark of sophistication and now it's a holiday mockery!” griped Parker as he grabbed sweaters from the shelves and attempted to stuff them into the nearest trash can. “People can’t wear these! Don’t you see! I’m going to be the town fool from now on!”

Harods' store associate, Linda Holly, said the order to move the sweater to the ugly sweater area of the store came from “higher up” and sales have been skyrocketing ever since the switch.

“Parker was the only one who bought the sweater, that’s until we rebranded it and now it’s selling faster than flapjacks at brunch,” said Linda happily as she sized one for a new customer. 

“Linda! Listen to me! Every time a goof like this walks into a holiday party in my sweater, this sweater," said Parker as he grabbed the corner of the customer's sweater shaking it, "my credibility is…oh nevermind!” said Parker as he frantically looked around “Mark my words,” continued Parker “you haven’t heard the last of me!”

Parker was seen attempting to put signs in front of the store that said "Holiday Must Have: The CEO Sweater" until he was sent a cease and desist by the Local Ugly Sweater Committee saying "The sweater has already been inducted into their hall of fame for ugliest sweater of the year."