Happening Now: Band Playing To Empty Dive Bar Completely Fine With It

BUCKETS — Local band, Gymnasium Stars, seems completely fine with playing to an empty bar and in fact, have remained upbeat despite the complete lack of a single person in the establishment. 

The band has been playing for the last two hours in the bar lounge where they have been singing tunes to a few billiard tables, a grilled cheese sandwich on a stool and the bar’s resident dog, a snappy Pekinese named Walter. 

Lead singer, Tommy John, was seen telling the sole staff member on duty, Barbara Cottons, to get some footage for social media with him and the fans while he serenaded a coat rack with a hat on it before realizing it was just an optical illusion. 

“For chrissakes it’s like a cave in here! Can we turn on some lights!?” yelled Tommy as he tried his best to stave off the embarrassment of his blunder and pretend like it could've happened to anyone.

Barbara said she was more than happy to call some friends down so they’d at least have a full front row of 2-5 people but the band seemed perfectly content with blaring 70’s rock to a pub stool. 

“Man this place is emptier than a shoebox,” said the band’s guitar player Savannah Flagstaff who was the only one in the bar who seemed to acknowledge the complete lack of an audience. 

“Keep playing!” yelled Tommy as he continued to ignore the reality of the situation saying “The energy in here is off the chain!” before he attempted to crowd surf around the place saying “lets go!!!” while launching himself into the air onto an empty dance floor. 

The Gymnasium Stars will be on break until further notice and ask fans to talk amongst themselves until they return for an encore.