Local Economy Skyrockets After Town Hosts Bake Sale

FLOURCUP'S BAKE SALE — The local town economy reportedly skyrocketed after a single bake sale Monday afternoon.

“The town easily raked in a solid $5 mil, maybe more,” said banker Willmington Fairbanks after looking at the size of the muffin that was sold and guessed that alone probably went for $200K.

“This single bake sale should cement the town’s financial future for the next few decades or so,” said Willmington as he wildly overestimated the earnings of the sale of the jumbo cinnamon bun and half dozen muffins and cookies by a couple hundred thousand dollars.

Fairbanks reportedly grew his own wealth by learning banking techniques from the game Monopoly where he would frequently be able to buy 3-4 railroads and a few multi-mansions on Boardwalk Avenue. 

“I would be running hotels, mansions, condos, you name it on the finest lots the Monopoly board offered while other players landed themselves in jail and the like,” boasted Willmington with the austerity of a Rockefeller.

The bake sale’s coordinator, Leslie Flourcup, was ecstatic on the findings but estimated the numbers to be even higher.

“People were throwing down dollar bills left and right,” said Leslie as she combed dough out of her hair, “Fairbanks is a good banker, but I personally estimate the numbers to be much higher. Who knew a muffin or two could launch this town into its golden years.” 

Fairbanks was set to allocate the majority of the earnings to renting out a mega mansion so the town could have a huge party “like Jay Gatsby” with pools filled with dollar bills and champagne before Fairbanks discovered the profit margin was just a mere $7.32 on the bake sale.