“I Feel Like A Hero,” Says Laundromat Owner Who “Rehomes” 1,000,000 Socks Per Week

SUD’S LAUNDROMAT — Lost socks have been finding new homes according to Sud’s Laundromat owner, Marla Stevens, who has been “rehoming” single lost socks by folding them in with unsuspecting customer’s laundry for the past 15 months.

“I’ve been adding, at the least, 200-300 stray socks to customer’s laundry during the folding process, whether it be hiding one in a shirt sleeve or gently folded within another sock,” said Marla as she hid 2,000 socks in a woman’s decorative towel stack. “I like to think it doesn’t hurt and it gives the sock another chance at life beyond sitting behind the washing machine here at Sud’s.”

“It’s a sock graveyard in here, look around, socks are everywhere, left unattended like trash, it’s disheartening,” said Marla about inanimate socks who don’t care if they live or die behind the washing machine.

Marla rambled on drawing the attention of long-time laundromat regular Rodney Hillsworth who threw his basket down upon overhearing Marla’s sock rescue operation tactics.

“She’s been doing what?” said Rodney, “I have enough socks to look after I don’t need this crap!” continued Rodney as he swiped a stack of clothes off a counter in an attempt to take a stand for himself. 

“I’m paying to do my laundry here, no strings attached!" ranted Rodney as he shook out each piece of his laundry prompting socks to fall out like change out of a pocket.

Marla interjected saying “How cruel! It’s a sock for chrissakes, have you a heart of stone?” as she scooped up 100 socks she hid in Rodney’s button-up pocket. 

Marla attempted to hide the socks in a woman’s laundry pile before Rodney blew up her spot, leading the woman to slowly and cautiously take her clothes out and pitter patter out of the store vowing to never step foot in Sud's again.