HARODS — Local shopper and businessman, Parker Bee, was up in arms yesterday after the department store Harods, mercilessly unrolled a holiday special marketing the "sophisticated" sweater he purchased from the store last month as “the perfect sweater for your holiday ugly sweater party!”.

SHERRI’S LAWN —   In the worst landscaping and Easter disaster in history, an entire yard of easter eggs was shredded after a lawnmower ran over the egg hunt, leaving plastic egg shards littered all over local aunt, and egg hunt coordinator, Sherri Shutterfree’s once pristine Easter paradise like pencil shavings. Marshmallow chicks dangled from shrubs like shredded confetti, along with jelly beans that were scattered for miles beyond the wreckage. “My Easter utopian paradise!