Vacuum Zips Out Of House Like UFO After Listening To 3 Minutes Of Couple's Small Talk

BARRINGTON HOME — After a late night vacuuming, a robot vacuum zipped at the speed of light out of the Barrington’s million-dollar home saying “it would rather spend eternity floating in space than another second listening to the small talk banter in the Barrington home.”

Mrs. Barrington told local authorities that around 9:00 p.m. the robot vacuum was cleaning the “sitting room” while Mr. Barrington was going into great detail about his day at the office and how many times the printer jammed at work saying “oh, it was 45 minutes of me checking the ink levels before I realized, the printer was just out of paper! Oopsy doopsy, what a big goofus I am! I might as well wear clown shoes! I hope you still love me my honey bon bon!” before the robot vac spontaneously sped up across the floor and flew out the window.

Air traffic control (ATC) saw the object on radar before radioing the rogue vacuum asking the craft to “identify itself” with the circular UFO-shaped vac responding “I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE.”

The vacuum's last transmission came in around 9:03 p.m. when it said “I’m approaching 47,000 ft boys” at which point ATC lost contact with the wayward vacuum as it continued it’s launch into Earth’s upper atmosphere while Mr. Barrington asked “was it something I said?”