Fire Captain Demands To Be Called Cool Name Like “Fire Boss” From Now On

FIREHOUSE — Fire Captain Kirpatrick made an announcement on Saturday morning to the department to start calling him “The Fire Boss” instead of Captain—effective now.

“Captain doesn’t really sound cool, but The Fire Boss…now that’s a name people will listen to,” Kirkpatrick said with high hopes as he wrote “Fire Boss” in permanent marker on his helmet. 

When firefighters raised concerns that this decision was probably beyond his power, The Fire Boss Kirpatrick defended himself saying “I’m sorry, are you The Fire Boss or am I The Fire Boss?”

“Not only is this above his power, but it sounds so stupid, I can’t answer to a Fire Boss,” said firefighter Randy Buttons as Kirpatrick reminded him it's THE Fire Boss with the THE, "it's like he knighted himself."

Kirpatrick was seen trying the name out in casual conversation by saying “The Fire Boss Kirpatrick here” when answering phone calls later that day hoping it would catch on but was met mostly with silence as people asked "I'm talking to who?"